What has been seen....

eEugenics

eEugenics

The Neo-Nazi enterprise of Dr. Neil Clark Warren

About six years ago, I was a young, single man, looking for love in all the wrong places, as the song goes. Earnestly interested in finding a mutually compatible life partner to whom I could get married, I looked about for whatever tools I could find. I had never been a bar-scene kind of person; "pressing the flesh" was never on my list of core competencies. However, being on the tech-savvy side, I was titilated by the rise of dating websites. I tried some of the more mass-market ones, such as Match.com, and found them crass and shallow. I wanted something more sophisticated.

And then I heard about eHarmony. It sounded wonderful. Its scientific approach to matching couples for life appealed to both my geekish and my romantic sides. Besides, I had always enjoyed taking those Myers-Briggs type tests in college. What did I have to lose? So I lainched into the application process. I answered the questions earnestly, honestly, and conpletely.

Two hours later, when I had finished, I received a strange message: they "could not match me at this time." What, precisely, could that mean? Did that mean they might be able to match me at some point in the future? Perhaps my answers had been so nuanced, so subtle, that they didn't have algorithms sophisticated enough to deal with one such as me. As soon as they upgraded to eHarmony 1.2, perhaps, they would match me.

So, every month or so, I would log back into my account, and be instantly confronted with the same message. Odd, I thought; I would think they would have found someone for me by now.

A year after I initially filled out the form, someone told me an interesting fact. eHarmony rejects a certain percentage of its applicants, and once rejected, they will never try to match you.

Surely there must be some mistake, I thought. I created another e-mail account, logged back in, and took the test again. I answered the questions honestly and fully. And again, I was rejected.

This shook me to the core. What was wrong with me? I was a well-adjusted, early-thirties man, straight, emotionally well-balanced, mature, well-educated, eloquent, and with a good professional career. Well, my friends told me, the company was based on Christian values, so they reject non-Christians, that must have been it.

There's a problem with that theory, though. I am a lifelong Catholic, rasied in the traditional style, with twelve years of private Catholic education under my belt, and am currently practicing. So that can't be it.

So I created another e-mail account, went back to the eHarmony site again, and tried something different. I answered questions randomly. I gave totally haphazard answers, completely nonsensical responses, and gibberish.

And, guess what, this time I was accepted.

At the time, I laughed it off. This proved to me that their algorithms are about as good at analyzing personality as "ELIZA" was at psychotherapy. I went on my way, fording the shark-infested waters of the LA dating scene.

Then, some time later, I became curious about what eHarmony had to say on the matter. I started digging on the web. What I found was prtty disturbing. References to eHarmony rejects as "unmatchable," "damaged," or simply "unworkable." The monst damning was an eHarmony exec woh said that "some people just aren't the marrying type."

So, according to Dr. Neil Clark Warren, I was a hopeless case, never to find a soulmate, forever cursed to wander the world alone. But, I thought, eHarmony was a business, even if a highly hermetic one. Why would they not event want to receive my money, even if they knew that I was not destined for martial bliss?

The truth, apparently, goes much deeper than simply promoting a pro-Christian ideology (one that I would not necessarily say is a bad idea). eHarmony is clearly an attempt to re- institutionalize eugenics in a socially-acceptable manner. Simply put, eugenics is the idea that some people should reproduce, and others should not, for the betterment of the human gene pool. A fine idea on initial blush, until one remembers the ultimate expression of this philosophy. And here we have Dr. Warren, with his cherubic smile and his snow-white hair, expressing the very same philosophies as Adolf Hitler- that some people were simply superior to others, and therefore should be encouraged to procreate, while others should be actively discouraged.

Yes, discouraged. Despite eHarmony's earnest claims that they "simply cannot do anything to help you," they are actually trying to impose a burden of shame and gult on you for not measuring up to their high standards. Otherwise, why would they not simply take your money, and match you with other people who fell into the bottom twenty percent (whatever that means)? Through the implied message of inadequacy, they want you to give up on even trying to reproduce.

Well, I have news for Doctor Warren. Since then, I have found a wonderful lady (the old-fashioned way... in person), and she and I have gotten married. In the Christian tradition, no less, with a priest and church and marriage classes and everything. Our marriage is over a year old and going just fine. Turns out I didn't need Doctor Mengele... er, I mean Warren after all. I reject your rejection, and take the responsibility for building a loving, happy life upon myself. And I am the better person for having done so.